"I know about your affairs, I have proof how could you do this to me."He sits down on the couch and holds his head in his hands."I am sorry, I am asha...ed of myself, I don't know how I have allowed thisto happen and I have failed you and myself. Can we talk about this?"His response rocks me a little bit I expected some denial or lies butwhat I saw was some genuine remorse, I turned away from him but and I didfeel bad for what he was saying, if you love someone you can't just turnit off. I turn. Johnson, it makes me sound so old. I didn't know you all smoked cigarettes."They looked at me smiling, even Tommy."Mom, it's a joint," My son said.I gasped and looked closely at the joint Jason was holding."We don't do it that often, only when there is a special occasion, like you being here with us Kate," Jason took my advice and called me by my name.It felt different being called by my name by a boy that was as old as my son but it immediately put me at ease. Up until now I was covered by the. .." We'll see, won't we? Get in there!"She paused, looking at him. "Why aren't you moving?"Rob looked uncomfortable. "I...don't think I can."Kathy looked sympathetic. "You'll learn. Let your instincts guide you."Rob got up from the couch and headed to the far side of the room. "Like this?" He pantomimed throwing a ball into a basket."Yes, just like that. See, you're getting it!"Rob continued to throw a nonexistent ball."You're a natural! Why did you think you couldn't score?" Kathy called out. “Maybe, you could, help her out…” The faintest of whispers escaped my mouth but my brother picked up every word of what I said. A look I can’t describe crossed his face. Guilt? Confusion? Uneasiness? Surprise? The faintest hint of a smile? I could usually decipher Adam pretty well but not this time. I waited for him to respond, half-wishing he would dismiss my idea completely, but knowing there wasn’t another way. “Are you sure Jen?” okay I got it then. He was unsure but also, excited. He.
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