I'd never really had much sexual interest in Janet even though she was pretty, more or less a slightly younger version of my wife.With Peg and me, the...last few years had seen her interest in sex diminish while mine, well, if anything, might have even increased, who knows why? Maybe just because Peg's had fallen.But, the massage, well, four female hands sliding over my body, it was having an effect on relaxing me except for one spot that I was laying on.They moved to my legs, Peg on my left. Anyway, I got thrown from a horse we were gentling and had sprained my shoulder. So that night, in the bathroom, I asked him to wash my body for me, so I didn't have to move around too much. I got up on my knees in the tub and he started splashing water on me. Then he got his hands all soapy and washed me all over. When he got to my butt he slipped his hand between my legs and washed there too.Wow! That felt different.Then he moved to the front and slid his soapy hand between my legs again. It. They offered to have sex with me but they were married and I refused to have sex with a married woman. I did go to a younger overweight prostitute for my needs. Even with her the love and caring was missing. The feeling of being wanted and needed wasn't there.I decided I needed a change. I bought a camper and thought I'd travel out West. Mary and I had planned on doing that, but never had the chance. I made a deal with my neighbors to take care of my house. I wasn't sure how long I would be. " I didn't understand until much, much later that that must have been my mother's way of coping with a life that consisted of a good deal of unhappiness.With the expression of emotion so heavily proscribed, whatever I felt as a child stayed inside. I didn't know what to do with what I felt. It had nowhere to go. I think that, because I was never able to vent emotions, they stayed there and built up, so that small emotional events were magnified many times, and, during the course of a day, I'd.
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