"I guess I was caught up in the moment too as ran off to my mom's bedroomand closed the door. I stripped down and slipped on a bright pink teddythat I...knew mom had in her dresser drawer (Yeah, I'm a snooper and mom'sdresser was adventure land). Then I slipped on a pair of silver high heelshoes she had in the closet. For a final touch I put on some of mom'scherry chapstick that gave my lips a pink shiny glow. A quick brushthrough my longish blonde hair and I was readyI opened the door and. " Invisible?"Tommi wrinkled her nose, realizing that her choice of words was wrong. "I mean, not invisible. But not a freak. It's like ... I'm normal. Idon't feel like people are staring at me now. I'm just another girl."Rachel's eyebrow rose. "Okay, I think that makes sense. But is itwhat you wanted?"Tommi's eyes widened. "What I wanted?" Yes," Rachel echoed. "You said the girls did this. But is it whatyou wanted?"Tommi thought for a moment. "I don't know," she answered candidly."I'm. It would do no good to avoid the issue, or to beat around the bush, so I just asked how soon Sean wanted children. When he said that he wanted them as soon as possible, I went a little nuts.Without me realizing it, having children had become the most important thing in my life. I wanted to begin right then, but logic poked its ugly head into the room. I had taken precautions against getting pregnant, which were good for another day. Besides, I could wait til the honeymoon, since it would be. The same shame and the same pain. These words are words that I knew were in his heart. We both have terrible drunken bastards for fathers. For that we have paid to no end. For you Michael, I feel some small relief. Your suffering is over. I know as you do that there is no honor or strength in being vengeful. But still yet the lust for vengeance is a human desire. We are all human. And I know from your warm place in forever tranquillity you would forgive me. I don’t know what else to say. I love.
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