I could see two small incisions but thereweren't even any stitches. My scrotum was now just loose skin. I'dnever be able to be a father. Ever. I'd...never grow into a man. Ever. I broke down and weeped at my loss, and at my fate. I was destined nowto stay small and feminine. The only remaining masculinity I had was mylittle penis which never even got hard anymore.Following a good cry, I gathered myself up, knowing I better notdisappoint Mary. In 20 minutes I was in the kitchen, preparing. I mean I wanted to bring Carl inside but knew that would be a disaster. I could not sleep and finally decided to call Stacy. She had given herself to her boyfriend months ago so, I knew she would understand. Thankfully I had my own line. So I called Stacy, she picked up after four rings. ‘He he… hello?’ ‘Stacy! Its me, you will not believe what happened tonight!’ ‘Really. Well uh what was, uh that?’ Her enthusiasm was less that I expected. ‘Stace, I took Carl to the River tonight.’ ‘Um, well. Years later i was working at a club and i started to see a lot of black men and i got offered to go home with a few and i refused cause i still had in my head what my first experience was like. One night my car had stopped running and it wouldn't start up and it was like 3 am so these black guys pull up and asked did i need help and the one in the passenger seat looked good, he was sexy as fuck, but i said no but i really meant yes so they left. About a half hour later the good looking guy came. But I know, when you are working, discipline is the key.You move toward me and your hands touch my arms in a manner almost clinical, adjusting, stepping back and evaluating. You finger skims my jaw as you lift my face more angling it towards the shadows. The dress you had picked for me, loose and flowing, held up only by two small straps at my shoulders, moves with the slight wind. You look at the sun, check the shadows at my back, the dappled pattern of the foliage on my skin. You seem.
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